


heartbreaks

by cherrychoke



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, heartbreaks, sorta fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 00:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18767764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrychoke/pseuds/cherrychoke
Summary: jongin has had many heartbreaks in his life, but he keeps coming back for this one.(unedited, unbeta'd.)





	heartbreaks

You’d think at the age of 25, Jongin would learn two cents about heartbreakers and their ways. He, in fact, has learnt a lot about heartbreakers, Jongin has lost count of people he’s fallen in love with, he keeps his heart on his sleeves quite literally – open for anyone and everyone to take. It’s not been limited to girls, he’s easily given his heart up to boys, too. Boy Heartbreaks were easier to deal with, when he was in denial about his sexuality, and thought it was just another friends with benefit situation.

It doesn’t stop him, though. He’s wasted half of his money on tissue boxes and sappy movie rentals, yet here he is, in his college, broken heart taped together, back on his sleeves. He’s bit of a masochist, if he’s completely honest

There are many attractive people on the campus, but he’s careful this time. Only a single glance can’t rip his heart from his cloth. He walks around, searching for a nice place to study and stare at handsome people. He ends up under a tree, it’s breezy there, and gives a good view of a study-group. Everyone in it is good-looking. But one guy catches his eyes. His glasses frame his face impossibly gorgeously, full lips glossing under the sun, round nose, adorable ears.

Do Kyungsoo, everyone knows him. He always turns offers down, tells people to focus on their studies rather than their crush on him. He’s more of a crush-breaker rather than hearts, which makes it easier for Jongin to like him. Heartbreakers notice his staring almost immediately, catch his eyes and smirk up at him, but Do Kyungsoo doesn’t. Because he’s a crush-breaker.

  


Jongin realizes his heart is missing on his sleeves a few months later, when Do Kyungsoo takes note of his staring, smiles blindingly at him. Jongin can’t (doesn’t) help but smile back, blush creeps up his cheeks, he becomes a little clumsy. One break, Jongin has earbuds on, listening to romantic songs while trying to understand stuff written in his textbook. He’s greatly distracted by the songs, busy daydreaming if the lyrics would ever happen to him. If Do Kyungsoo will hold his waist, kiss his lips, and whisper his love for him.

It’s far from habitual, but the thoughts manage to give him butterflies in his tummy, lungs expanding to fit more oxygen – he’s still left breathless, though. A hand appears in front of him, Jongin can eerily recognize that it’s Do Kyungsoo’s. He looks up, biological heart pounding against his ribcage, its pace ringing in his ears. Jongin stutters. “Can I help you?”

“Do Kyungsoo,” he introduces, and settles in front of Jongin, smiling. Jongin bites his tongue and nods at him. “I’ve noticed that you were staring at me, yesterday.”

Jongin tastes the iron in his blood, he swallows it, and coyly replies, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. It’s flattering.” Kyungsoo chuckles. Jongin stops biting his tongue, and sucks his bottom lip between his teeth. Turns out, he’s wrong. Kyungsoo _is_ a heartbreaker, just pretends he isn’t one. All his mannerisms screams of one, but it’s too late, Jongin’s heart is already missing. Kyungsoo continues the conversation, his pretend is one of the best acts Jongin’s ever encountered. It tops Chanyeol’s, which was amazing for a highschooler. They talk about the most random things, they click together well, like one heartbreakee and heartbeaker would, but there’s something different about the way Kyungsoo’s hand touches him.

It touches him like he’s forbidden, pink blooms on his pale face like they’ve been making out, he purses his lips like he’s shy. Maybe it’s to make him feel special, like he isn’t one of millions to come. Jongin plays along pathetically, except his isn’t pretend. He returns Kyungsoo’s touches with stomach twisting, squirms under his gaze because it manages to make him feel one of a kind for a millisecond.

 

 

 

“Jongin, Jongin, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says his name so prettily, chants it as his fingertips explore the every inch of said man’s body. “ _Jongin_ ,” this one’s a moan, said instead of explaining him how good it feels. “J-Jongin,” a whisper, into his ears to give him a false hope of their future, “Ah, Jongin,” a loud one, to make sure he remembers who it was the next morning. Their bodies are sweaty, skin slapping echoes their small rooms, their rusty, iron bed creaks with every thrust. Jongin feels hopeless as he wraps his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck, kisses the full lips like it’s his to own. Might as well do it until this moment lasts.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo is close, so close. A centimeter away, and he can’t be touched. His friends surround them, unaware of what happens at weekends between them, what happens when they’re not around. His friends make homophobic jokes and Kyungsoo laughs, puts on an act like they don’t hurt him, like it doesn’t burn his entire body which he uses to burn Jongin.

Beneath his sweatshirt, Jongin has hickeys on his chest, one right below his nipple, some on his stomach. Finger-shaped bruises are fading on his hips. Jongin’s cock hardens thinking about the hickeys on his inner thighs. He wonders if Kyungsoo will do him a favour later.

A hand on his thigh to ask him to leave, a side-glance is Kyungsoo’s wordless apology. Jongin excuses himself from the big group, side-hugs one of them for the sake of it. Kyungsoo watches him leave, and Jongin yearns for his hands.

 

 

 

“Jongin,” a whisper, because his dormmate is present this weekend. Jongin agrees with a nod, and carefully holds Kyungsoo’s naked waist, presses a kiss on Kyungsoo’s naked chest. “Jongin, you have to go.”

He takes a deep breath. “One moment,” Jongin pleads, presses hurried kisses anywhere he can manage. Kyungsoo does give him a moment – nothing more, nothing less. Hands hold his forearms only to unlatch them, kiss on his cheek only to apologize. Jongin gets dressed before Kyungsoo does, and watches the pretty hickeys get covered by ugly piece of clothing. He greets the dormmate on his way out, fakes a mini-rant about a subject he completely understands and Kyungsoo’s Life Saving-ness.

 

 

He’s the asshole kind of heartbreaker, Kyungsoo. When the door closes, Kyungsoo closes the gap between them, holds Jongin’s waist, and whispers, “You’re so pretty, Jongin-ah,” presses his lips against Jongin’s aching ones, “so, so beautiful.”

He can only moan against the pair of lips, accepting the compliment reluctantly. He’s learnt not to argue with Do Kyungsoo, the President of Debate Club. He compliments Kyungsoo back, for his full lips, pretty eyes, and calloused yet soft hands. For his body pressed against Jongin’s, for his head against Jongin’s shoulder. For his glasses which lessens his glaring at other’s, and finally, for his perfectly fine, poisoned heart.

What Jongin doesn’t compliment him for, though, is his knees. On which he sits in front of God, praying along with his mother for forgiveness. Not that he can get out of it, but Jongin wishes some – only a little – strength to move just a bit. Just enough for it to stop hurting and he can stand up, tell his mother he doesn’t need the forgiveness.

 

 

 

They go to Kyungsoo’s bed for their first date, where Kyungsoo kneels and begs God. Jongin watches him kneels and clasp his hands, closing his eyes to ask. He mutters the prayers under his breath, and Jongin doesn’t want to bite his already bleeding tongue today. “Are you asking God for forgiveness?” He snaps, which makes Kyungsoo open his eyes. “Are you begging Him to not make you gay? Because it doesn’t work, trust me.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t reply immediately, and Jongin falls back on the stinky bed. It stinks of Kyungsoo and his assholeness. “No,” comes the reply, and Jongin’s eyes well up with tears. “I’m praying for everyone’s wellness, and forgiveness if I were to murder anyone,” Jongin looks up at Kyungsoo, there’s a teasing smile on his face. “Because I swear to the fucking God, they’ll get their necks snapped by me one fucking day.”

**Author's Note:**

> i was VERY angry for some reason and had to blow off some steam and hence this. i hope you liked/enjoyed it!!! let me know if you did!!!!!!! <3


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